LOVE LETTER FROM THE CHAIR 

Beloved Imago Community

Wired for Connection

For the past few weeks, a global spotlight has been focused on movements such as black lives matter, the rise of gender-based violence, the gravity of Covid-19, and the frustration of lockdown isolation.

Looking out my window, more leaves are falling, with the reassurance that after Winter comes, Spring and after Spring comes Summer and after Summer comes to Winter AGAIN! A comforting reminder that underneath all the upheaval and uncertainty there is also stability and some things that we can count on.  I then found myself asking what to make of the current global chaos and seemingly endless reactivity.  What do I say? Where is my voice?  Where is the voice of Imago Africa in all of this? As I reflected on this, I was reminded of a powerful sculpture at the Burning Man Festival, in Nevada, USA,  which shows inner children trapped inside adult bodies.

Don’t you also just love this sculpture?

Milov wrote the following about his Love Sculpture: “It demonstrates a conflict between a man and a woman as well as the outer and inner expression of human nature. Their inner selves are executed in the form of transparent children, who are holding out their hands through the grating. As it is getting dark (night falls) the children start to shine. This shining is a symbol of purity and sincerity that brings people together and gives a chance of making up when the dark time arrives.”

This Sculpture has always symbolized reactivity between couples.  Upon reflection of what is happening globally,  this sculpture now states a simple truth that whether we are reacting to the George Floyd incident, gender-based violence, COVID -19, or anything else in our lives, it is most likely that the reactivity is from within our inner child.  In the chaos of disconnection, the inner child yearns for connection.  Beloved colleagues, just as I am certain that falling leaves happen in Autumn and Winter, so I am CERTAIN that we have the ability, the love, the energy, the passion, the will and so much more, to show up right where we are. We have what it takes to facilitate connection.

Even though globally it seems that the chaos is overwhelming, I choose to view this chaos as reactivity yearning for connection.  Dear colleagues and friends, this is my answer: we can transform this chaos and see it as invitations for connection.  We can take a stand for a connection.  After all, we are wired for connection.  We can cross the bridge into the world to the other to listen, to hear, to understand, to appreciate and to love.

We begin with ourselves and pay it forward.  Therefore my wish for you:
May you be seen.
May you be heard.
May you be appreciated.
May you be understood.
May you be loved……and
May it be mutual.

 

THE JOURNEY SO FAR

I am delighted to inform you of some of what has been happening in our community:

Lilly of the Valley Project

Imago Africa supports Lily of the Valley Caregivers during Covid-19 lockdown.

During the Lockdown, Carol Dixon has initiated an intervention together with Johanri Engelbrecht, Marilet Kotze, Lyndsay Webber, Sibongile Mkhize and Helen Anderson.

“Lily of the Valley is an orphanage located in Eston a rural area in KwaZulu Natal. Although they are isolated LOV was always a busy place supported by the local community and a variety of visitors from Durban and internationally.  However, lockdown meant they were cut off from the outside world even more – the children could not attend their local schools, and caregivers and staff could not visit their own families.  Imago Africa facilitated a series of online containment circles to support caregivers and staff to express their feelings and concerns. It was a privilege to walk this road with women and men who have sacrificed so much of their own time and resources for the benefit of vulnerable children and to provide a safe space for experiences to be shared and stories to be heard.  More than ever we learned how the power of simple and yet deep listening and mirroring can be the balm which carries the message that their lives matter.” Carol Dixon.

Group as Expert

Since Lockdown, Imago Africa has provided ongoing support to the community in various ways.  One of those being The Group as Expert.

“The Community as Expert forum was started in April 2020 and there have been 4 groups that have met via Zoom since then. The meetings are 90 minutes in duration and we have averaged 10 participants with some folk simply observing. It has been an enriching and dynamic experience with much wisdom co-generated. I am thrilled that we had some trainees (newbies) join in and delighted to see again some of the “oldies”. 

In the Imago Clinical Training, trainees are introduced to the concept of Group as Expert. The underlying premise is that when you ask a question, you already have the answer although you are not aware of it at that moment. In our meetings, a question is posed by one person who then answers first with “What I know about my question is…. “. The answer is mirrored and the next participant starts with, “What I know about x’s question is….”

It has been a joy to host – I love our Imago Africa community and invite you to join in the journey to share and learn with our Imago family.“  Michele Naude

“I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I sure can pick smart colleagues”. Franklin D Roosevelt

With much appreciation to Michele Naude for facilitating this group so brilliantly.

 

Feedback from the Faculty

Kobus van der Merwe and Michele Naude, our Brilliant Trainers attended the annual Faculty meeting in July that lasted five days.

Here is some Feedback from Michele:
“I always look forward to participating in the annual Imago International Training institute meeting (previously known as the Imago Faculty meeting). This year we had planned to meet in the Netherlands but owing to COVID -19 this was not possible. Currently, there are 39 active faculty members of which there are 12 associate members/faculty candidates who commenced their training last year. 

We met over five days for a maximum of 5 hours per day (with an hour before and after the meetings as an optional social connecting time). For Kobus and I in SA the time was from 6-11 pm- I am sad to say I didn’t linger after the official meeting closed- I trust you understand! 

The faculty candidates are from several countries and their collective energy is dynamic. There is an elected Dean Team which is competently headed by Michelle Bohls. I have to say that the new candidates bring with them much creativity, diversity, drive, and initiative. Some of you may have joined Kalanit’s presentation on Friday-she is a real dynamo. For me personally it was one of the most productive faculty meetings I have attended and with the structure of sociocracy, we were able to propose and consent to important decisions resulting in an increased impetus and direction going forward.

As per the IRW and IA structure, we also have circles within the Dean Team.   These circles meet regularly to work on the tasks assigned to them. Kudos was appropriately given to the Online Training Circle which consists of our very own Kobus van der Merwe, Gene Shelley, Nedra Fetterman, and Herb Tannenbaum. 

Gene is one of the oldest faculty members and he has been advocating online training for many years!!! The combined efforts of this circle have enabled many therapists to commence their Imago Clinical Training Module 1 online to great success. We are now looking to extend the training to incorporate the balance of the modules as well as taking the Advanced Courses online. Please watch this space….. Kobus and I are committed to the ongoing training of our local and community and look forward to seeing you on the journey!”.

Historic Online Chapter Meeting

Just as a mother gives birth and proudly looks upon her newborn, Imago Africa gave birth to the first online national chapter, uniting all Imago members and colleagues.  This grand event boasted 47 participants and took place on 13 May 2020.  Kobus van der Merwe, delivered a stunning presentation using the Exploration Stage of development.  He shared useful insights on how to combine the forces of tension and empathy between couples in the service of transformation in couples therapy.

“The tension between couples is a necessary discomfort for deep change to happen.  The tension is not something that the couple’s therapist needs to solve, it is a power that needs to be used in the service of transformation.  This change at the same time needs to happen in the empathetic presence of the other”.   Kobus van der Merwe.

 

Imago Africa Webinar

Another historic moment was on 25 July when the marketing team launched our first webinar featuring very own Bernard Wakeford with the title: “ The art and science of human connection, Climbing the Ladder… Together. The implications of Polyvagal Theory and Limbic Resonance for Healthy relationships. “ – PART 1.  This event also served as a teaser for the Imago International Conference to be held in October 2021.

THE JOURNEY TO COME

Looking onto the horizon there are interesting opportunities and events to look forward to:

Ph.D. Opportunities

I am delighted to inform you there is a new academic journey for those who are adventurous, and hungry for research and have a passion to make a study of their burning questions regarding Imago theory and practice in a relational context. This Ph.D. is the first degree of this kind offered at any South African Higher Institution. This program holds great promise to conduct cutting-edge research to inform policy, interventions, and short learning programs from an evidence-based perspective.

If you are seriously considering this and would like to register to begin this journey in 2021, you need to contact Vera Roos as soon as possible.  Vera Roos is a Professor at the Optentia Research Focus Area, Faculty of Humanities, Vaal Triangle Campus, and can be contacted at www.nwu.ac.za or http://veraroos.com/.

Imago Calendar Next Online Chapter Meeting 

15 July 2020 – Free Online Chapter.  Join us with Carol Dixon for our second Online Chapter, presenting the topic, How to handle Ambivalent Couples, one wants in, the other wants out.

Other Events

• 14 July 2020 – In collaboration with Grace Counselling and #CareForCovidCarers – taking care of relationships during COVID season with Pieter Le Roux and Carol Dixon. Watch this space as this is an opportunity to work together as a community.
• 22 July 2020 – Group as Expert with Michele Naude.
• 30 July 2020 – Webinar. Part 2: “The art and science of human connection, Climbing the Ladder… Together”, with Savanthika Pillay. Date subject to change.
• 19 August 2020 – Group as Expert with Michele Naude
• 27 August 2020 – Webinar with Marilet Kotze: Title “Vanilla isn’t the only flavour: alternative sexual relationship structures”
  And there is always more….

Please do not hesitate to contact me directly if you would like to connect, need support or anything else you have to share.

Much love,
Sonia