Is money an issue in your relationship?

Do this short quiz to find out!

Did you know that money is one of the most common areas couples fight about in their relationships? Having a successful money partnership depends on one key element – can you safely communicate with each other in a connecting and nonreactive manner?
Take this short 9 question quiz with your partner today, and see how connected you are around money in your relationship. Circle each answer or note/write down your answers to see what it all means at the end of the quiz:

1. We fight about money issues…
a. always
b. often
c. rarely
d. never
2. Money was an issue in my family growing up...
a. always
b. often
c. rarely
d. never
3. Money was an issue in my partner’s family growing up…
a. always
b. often
c. rarely
d. never
4. I “use” spending and buying things to make myself feel better, to self soothe…
a. always
b. often
c. rarely
d. never
5. My partner “uses” spending and buying things to make themselves feel better, to self soothe…
a. always
b. often
c. rarely
d. never
6. I feel safe talking to my partner about money and I freely talk with my partner about money…
a. always
b. often
c. rarely
d. never
7. My partner feels safe talking about money with me and freely talks with me about money…
a. always
b. often
c. rarely
d. never
8. We share financial information freely with each other (no secrets)…(*)
a. always
b. often
c. rarely
d. never
9. We overspend and seem to always be in financial difficulty…(*)
a. always
b. often
c. rarely
d. never

What does your score mean?

If you answered A or B 0-2 times
Nice job! It sounds like you and your partner are doing a great job communicating about finances. Here are some tips to keep you on track:
1) Discuss, decide and maintain agreements around your finances. For example, agree to pay off credit card debt each month; agree to stay within a budget; agree to discuss purchases over a certain amount.
2) Once a year, review your finances and create goals as part of your relationship vision. This will help you be proactive about any potential big purchases to add to your budget, like a car, house, trips, tuition, etc. And, by the way…if you don’t have a relationship vision, we highly recommend one!
3) Do a monthly financial check-in to look at income versus spending and discuss your comfort level regarding your current finances. Be sure to follow up that conversation with a light and enjoyable activity you both enjoy. End on a high note!

If you answered A or B 3-5 times
It’s a good idea to pay attention to the financial issues in your relationship before they turn into something much bigger. Money issues often have deeper and more personal roots….doubts around worthiness, fear of scarcity, shame from not feeling good enough… Gaining education about the underlying issues around can create more understanding and help with your growth and connection.
Focus on being each other’s advocate. If your partner really wants a purchase that’s not affordable at the time, try saying something generous like, “I really want you to have that” and then make a plan and make it happen!
If you’re in conflict about any aspect of your financial life (or otherwise), the Imago Dialogue is a powerful tool to help you mirror, validate and empathize toward deeper understanding. Check out our Imago Workshops to dig deeper into your relationship and learn how to use Imago to have the relationship of your dreams.

If you answered A or B 6-9 times
Your relationship is struggling, but do not despair…repair! You can create a healthier relationship around money with your partner if you’re willing to do the work. It’s not uncommon for people to have different views and ideas about money. The bottom line…if you don’t get to the root of what’s causing your problems, it’ll cause further damage to your relationship.

Because money issues are often rooted in something else, working with a certified Imago Relationship Therapist can be extremely helpful in guiding you safely through structured dialogues and help bring light to these issues so you can begin healing. Click here to find your nearest Imago Therapist.

This article was adapted from: https://www.imagorelationshipswork.com/couples-and-individuals/relationship-quizzes/70-relationship-quiz-is-money-an-issue-in-your-relationship