{"id":4758,"date":"2017-07-23T12:23:12","date_gmt":"2017-07-23T12:23:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.imagoafrica.co.za\/?p=4758"},"modified":"2017-07-23T12:23:12","modified_gmt":"2017-07-23T12:23:12","slug":"a-loving-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/a-loving-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"A Loving Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"<h1 class=\"sfnewsTitle\">Hedy over heels for a loving marriage<\/h1>\n<div>\n<div>\n<div id=\"ctl00_ContentPlaceHolder2_C001_newsFrontendDetails_ctl00_ctl00_DetailsView_ctrl0_ctl01_imagesFrontendThumbnailsListLightBox\">\n<ul class=\"sfimagesTmbList sfLightboxMode\">\n<li class=\"sfimagesTmb\"><a id=\"ctl00_ContentPlaceHolder2_C001_newsFrontendDetails_ctl00_ctl00_DetailsView_ctrl0_ctl01_imagesFrontendThumbnailsListLightBox_ctl00_ctl00_ItemsList_ctrl0_singleItemLink\" class=\"sfLightBox\" title=\"ElianaHedySchlefer\" href=\"http:\/\/www.sajr.co.za\/images\/default-source\/default-album\/elianahedyschlefer.jpg?sfvrsn=0\" rel=\"ctl00_ContentPlaceHolder2_C001_newsFrontendDetails_ctl00_ctl00_DetailsView_ctrl0_ctl01_imagesFrontendThumbnailsListLightBox_ctl00_ctl00_mainImageGallery\"><img decoding=\"async\" title=\"ElianaHedySchlefer\" src=\"http:\/\/www.sajr.co.za\/images\/default-source\/default-album\/elianahedyschlefer.tmb-0.jpg?sfvrsn=1\" alt=\"ElianaHedySchlefer\" \/><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"sfnewsSummary\">International relationships coach and therapist, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.hedyyumi.com\/\">Hedy Schleifer<\/a>, exudes an enigmatic warmth and vitality. As people around the world seek her and her husband Yumi out for guidance, they appear to have the perfect marriage.<\/div>\n<div class=\"sfnewsAuthorAndDate\">by <a href=\"https:\/\/elianacline.com\">ELIANA CLINE<\/a> | Jul 20, 2017 in the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.sajr.co.za\/\">Jewish Report<\/a><\/div>\n<div id=\"ctl00_ContentPlaceHolder2_C001_newsFrontendDetails_ctl00_ctl00_DetailsView_ctrl0_ctl05\" class=\"RadSocialShare RadSocialShare_Default\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"sfnewsContent\">\n<p>But it wasn\u2019t always like that, Hedy told <a href=\"http:\/\/www.sajr.co.za\/\">Jewish Report<\/a> in a Skype interview from her home in the United States. She says her journey began when in the early years of her and Yumi\u2019s marriage, things were not going as she expected. \u201cWe were young and unconscious,\u201d she describes it.<\/p>\n<p>As a trained psychotherapist working extensively with couples, she realised that the challenges they faced were not her and her husband\u2019s alone. \u201cI became aware of a sense of frustration and occasional despair about my own marriage. Neither my personal relationship, nor my work with relationships in couplehood, was working as I thought it should.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Propelled by her deep-rooted Jewish heritage, Hedy knew that marriage had the potential to be a sacred union and she set out to discover how to enact this in her personal and professional life.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe Jewish sages tell us to make a sanctuary between us, to sanctify the space between husband and wife. While Judaism defines shalom bayit (harmony in the home) as the highest, we realised through our own marriage that many people &#8211; of all religions and backgrounds &#8211; were missing the how-to, which would enable them to achieve this ideal.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Hedy embarked on a journey to search for ways to actualise this connection in her own relationship and with the couples she worked with.<\/p>\n<p>Delving into contemporary philosophies and methodologies, she found places where these ancient ideals were articulated in a relevant manner and the couple began to build their own approach.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOur work is very much grounded in Martin Buber, the famous 20<sup>th<\/sup>\u00a0century Jewish philosopher. He was the first one to give a name to the space between the couple. He called it an \u2018encounter of souls\u2019, and says that the couple is a space where the two souls meet.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOur sages teach that when there is harmony in the home (shalom bayit), the Divine spirit (the shechina), rests between the couple.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/imagorelationships.org\/pro\/about\/an-introduction-to-imago\/\">Imago relationship therapy<\/a> was a turning point in our lives. It was there that we learned that everyone marries the one person that\u2019s capable of giving them their single worst relationship nightmare. We hire them for the job, and then are angry when they fulfil it.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt really is a description of the Jewish concept of \u2018ezer knegdo\u2019 (loosely translated as \u2018a helper opposite him\u2019.)\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In fact, Yumi and Hedy were catalysts in the establishment of Imago communities in South Africa, Israel, Austria, Switzerland, Sweden and Canada and pioneered the expansion of Imago relationship therapy in many other countries.<\/p>\n<p>As the couple evolved in their own relationship and in their work with other couples, they developed their own integrated approach, which sees the couple as a place where true self-actualisation can occur.<\/p>\n<p>Hedy is adamant not to call their teachings therapy.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere is nothing wrong with people. Rather, we teach a way to reclaim their own potential as individuals and as a couple. Our life\u2019s work has been spreading the message that a couple\u2019s goal is to sanctify the space between them in order to create a sanctuary. It\u2019s about transformation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>What makes their workshops unique is that the Schleifers run their courses for couples together. Married for 52 years, they are an institution in their own right. The two have travelled to 40 countries around the world, facilitating transformation, as well as offering participants the chance to witness a truly actualised relationship in the flesh.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYumi is my 27<sup>th<\/sup>\u00a0husband. He has the courage to let himself grow. I would never have dreamed of him becoming the man he is today; I am in awe and have kept choosing him.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Hedy\u2019s work across the globe has shown her that all couples, no matter what country, culture or background, long for deep connection; and that a miraculous thing occurs when couples are given the right tools.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe give them a profound paradigm shift, and they reconnect at a deep level. We show couples how to visit each other over the bridge, and to re-establish something inherent between them. We teach them to transcend the unconscious and move into a conscious connection.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>According to Hedy, the remarkable aspect is that the state in which the couple enter the training, is irrelevant. Even if the relationship is in complete disrepair, or on the verge of divorce, during the three days they find a way to establish a depth of connection which settles between them.<\/p>\n<p>Hedy does not take her ability to impact people so profoundly, lightly. She says that spreading this work has been her biggest blessing, and seeing the rewards of the seeds they have planted, is incredibly moving and humbling.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe knew that this work was our calling. We felt that we were bringing something bigger than ourselves into the world, and that it was worth it even if one couple was touched by the work.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s clear that Hedy and Yumi continue to touch the lives of not one, but thousands of couples worldwide, and offer both a paradigm and example of what is possible when human beings open their hearts and minds.<\/p>\n<p>* <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imagoafrica-hedyyumi.co.za\/\">Hedy and Yumi will be in Johannesburg from August 7 \u2013 22, offering various trainings for couples, therapists and professionals<\/a>. There are scholarships available on application. For more information, contact Carol at imagocd@<a href=\"http:\/\/gmail.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">gmail.com<\/a>\u00a0or 082-463-1467.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hedy over heels for a loving marriage International relationships coach and therapist, Hedy Schleifer, exudes an enigmatic warmth and vitality. As people around the world seek her and her husband Yumi out for guidance, they appear to have the perfect marriage. by ELIANA CLINE | Jul 20, 2017 in the Jewish Report But it wasn\u2019t [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":4511,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[38,34],"tags":[57,40,37,39,42,44,58,53,59,60,61,36,62],"class_list":["post-4758","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-couples-therapy","category-imago-relationships","tag-business","tag-connection","tag-couples","tag-couples-workshop","tag-hedy-and-yumi","tag-intimacy","tag-leadership","tag-marriage","tag-personal-growth","tag-presenters","tag-public-speaking","tag-therapy","tag-training"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>A Loving Marriage - Imago Africa<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/a-loving-marriage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Loving Marriage - Imago Africa\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hedy over heels for a loving marriage International relationships coach and therapist, Hedy Schleifer, exudes an enigmatic warmth and vitality. 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