{"id":4716,"date":"2017-07-16T15:13:30","date_gmt":"2017-07-16T15:13:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.imagoafrica.co.za\/?p=4716"},"modified":"2017-07-16T15:13:30","modified_gmt":"2017-07-16T15:13:30","slug":"verhoudings-jou-verhouding-gesond-dis-hoe-jy-kan-uitvind","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/verhoudings-jou-verhouding-gesond-dis-hoe-jy-kan-uitvind\/","title":{"rendered":"Verhoudings Is jou verhouding gesond? Dis hoe jy kan uitvind"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Deur <a href=\"http:\/\/www.huisgenoot.com\/Jou-lewe\/Verhoudings\/is-jou-verhouding-gesond-dis-hoe-jy-kan-uitvind-20170714\">Pieter Van Zyl<\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><strong>Die huwelik of ander liefdesverhoudings word dikwels as \u2019n sprokie voorgehou, maar ongelukkig is hindernisse op die lewenspad <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><strong>onvermydelik. Daar is <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imagoafrica.co.za\/hedy-and-yumi-schleifer-aug2017\/\">maniere<\/a> om dit te oorkom.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imagoafrica.co.za\/couples\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-4717 alignleft\" src=\"http:\/\/www.imagoafrica.co.za\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/huisegenoot-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>\u201cOnvervulde verwagtings kan lei tot frustrasie,\u201d s\u00ea <a href=\"http:\/\/www.kznimago.co.za\/practitioners\/\">Carol-Ann Dixon<\/a>, sielkundige van Durban, wat dien in die raad van Imago Africa, wat gratis verhoudingseminare aanbied. Daardie frustrasie l\u00ea egter daarin dat ons nie regtig verstaan dat ons sulke verwagtings koester nie.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEk glo dis onmoontlik om dit nie te h\u00ea nie, maar ons moet daardie verwagtings eien. Evalueer hoe realisties dit is en praat daaroor met jou maat. Wees bereid om saam skadelike verwagtings aan te pas,\u201d s\u00ea <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/imagoafrica\/\">Carol-Ann<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Verwagtings kom uit onderliggende, onvervulde behoeftes wat ons frustreer, voeg sy by.<\/p>\n<p>Daarom is dit beter om my eie behoefte as geldig te aanvaar en dit te verwoord en met my geliefde daaroor te praat. Deel jou gevoelens en bespreek dan wat moontlik is. Kom ooreen oor \u2019n verandering in gedrag, as dit nodig is. So:<\/p>\n<p>1. Voel die frustrasie.<br \/>\n2. Identifiseer die behoefte.<br \/>\n3. Verwoord die behoefte en vra hulp.<br \/>\n4. Kom ooreen op \u2019n pad vorentoe.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Daar is ruimte vir verskille, terleurstellings en vergifnis.&#8221;<br \/>\nIn \u2019n gesonde verhouding is albei partye bereid om te waag, meen <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sorika.deswardt\">Sorika de Swardt<\/a>, \u2019n maatskaplike werker in privaat praktyk in Benoni.<br \/>\n\u201cWanneer jy emosioneel in iemand anders bel\u00ea, verg dit waagmoed en \u2019n bereidheid om jouself oop te stel en weerloos te maak,\u201d voeg sy by.<br \/>\nKonflik en verskille of teleurstellings moet hanteer word deur ope gesprek met die oog op werklike verstaan van mekaar se oogpunt. Dit moet gevolg word deur gedragsverandering sonder dat manipulasie of emosionele afpersing \u2019n rol speel.<br \/>\nIn \u2019n gesonde verhouding gun mense mekaar ruimte. Maar daar is ook duidelike begrip dat as iemand aanhou om jou seer te maak met dieselfde gedrag, dit nie meer gebalanseerd is nie.<\/p>\n<p>Beantwoord die onderstaande vrae om uit te vind of jy in \u2018n ongelukkige verhouding of huwelik vasgevang is, stel <a href=\"http:\/\/www.marriagemax.co.za\/\">Susan Eksteen<\/a>, \u2019n kliniese Imago-verhoudingsterapeut en pastorale terapeut van Krugersdorp, voor.<br \/>\n\u2022 Moet jy jou menswees, soos jou drome en oortuigings, prysgee?<br \/>\n\u2022 Moet jy jou waardestelsel, soos jou morele, etiese en leefstylwaardes, inboet? Moet jy dit prysgee om in die verhouding te oorleef?<br \/>\n\u2022 Word jy van jou familie en vriende afgesonder?<br \/>\n\u2022 Neem die seerkry en sielspyn al jou gedagtes en geestesenergie in beslag?<br \/>\n\u2022 Het julle geen respek meer vir mekaar nie?<br \/>\n\u2022 Is daar misbruik en moontlike verslawing aan alkohol of dwelms, dobbel of pornografie wat ontken word en ook nie aandag kry of behandel word nie?<br \/>\n\u2022 Word jy afgekraak en gekritiseer, privaat en voor ander, dat jy niks reg kan doen nie? Jy is altyd die sondebok en jou maat onskuldig?<br \/>\n\u2022 Gee jou maat geen aandag aan jou behoeftes en dit wat vir jou belangrik is en ook aan jou groei as mens nie?<br \/>\n\u2022 Was daar al een of meer as een emosionele of seksuele verhoudings met \u2018n derde party wat jul verhouding benadeel het?<br \/>\n\u2022 Is daar, ten spyte van verhoudingsberading, geen aangetrokkenheid, niks wat julle deel en geniet en ook nie \u2018n opflikkering in jul sekslewe nie?<\/p>\n<p>As jou antwoord op bogenoemde vrae meestal \u201cja\u201d is, is dit tyd vir <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imagoafrica.co.za\/find-a-therapist-near-you\/\">professionele hulp<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Deur Pieter Van Zyl Die huwelik of ander liefdesverhoudings word dikwels as \u2019n sprokie voorgehou, maar ongelukkig is hindernisse op die lewenspad onvermydelik. Daar is maniere om dit te oorkom. \u201cOnvervulde verwagtings kan lei tot frustrasie,\u201d s\u00ea Carol-Ann Dixon, sielkundige van Durban, wat dien in die raad van Imago Africa, wat gratis verhoudingseminare aanbied. Daardie [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":4717,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[38,34],"tags":[39,42,43,36],"class_list":["post-4716","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-couples-therapy","category-imago-relationships","tag-couples-workshop","tag-hedy-and-yumi","tag-imago-africa","tag-therapy"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Verhoudings Is jou verhouding gesond? 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