{"id":4705,"date":"2017-07-16T08:07:39","date_gmt":"2017-07-16T08:07:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.imagoafrica.co.za\/?p=4705"},"modified":"2017-07-16T08:07:39","modified_gmt":"2017-07-16T08:07:39","slug":"stay-married-embrace-change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/","title":{"rendered":"Modern Marriage: to stay married, embrace change"},"content":{"rendered":"

THE BAD NEWS – YOU HAVE TO CHANGE<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

A couple of years ago, it seemed as if everyone I knew was on the verge of divorce.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s not the man\"\"<\/a>\u00a0I married,\u201d one friend told me.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe didn\u2019t change, and I did,\u201d said another.<\/p>\n

And then there was the no-fault version: \u201cWe grew apart.\u201d<\/p>\n

Emotional and physical abuse are clear-cut grounds for divorce, but they aren\u2019t the most common causes of failing marriages, at least the ones I hear about. What\u2019s the more typical villain? Change.<\/p>\n

Feeling oppressed by change or lack of change; it\u2019s a tale as old as time. Yet at some point in any long-term relationship, each partner is likely to evolve from the person we fell in love with into someone new \u2014 and not always into someone cuter or smarter or more fun. Each goes from rock climber to couch potato, from rebel to middle manager, and from sex crazed to sleep obsessed.<\/p>\n

Sometimes people feel betrayed by this change. They fell in love with one person, and when that person doesn\u2019t seem familiar anymore, they decide he or she violated the marriage contract. I have begun to wonder if perhaps the problem isn\u2019t change itself but our susceptibility to what has been called the \u201cend of history\u201d illusion.<\/p>\n

\u201cHuman beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they\u2019re finished,\u201d the Harvard professor Daniel Gilbert<\/a> said in a 2014 TED talk called \u201cThe Psychology of Your Future Self<\/a>.\u201d He described research that he and his colleagues had done in 2013: Study subjects (ranging from 18 to 68 years old) reported changing much more over a decade than they expected to.<\/p>\n

In 2015, I published a book about where I grew up, St. Marks Place in the East Village of Manhattan. In doing research, I listened to one person after another claim that the street was a shadow of its former self, that all the good businesses had closed and all the good people had left. This sentiment held true even though people disagreed about which were the good businesses and who were the good people.<\/p>\n

Nostalgia, which fuels our resentment toward change, is a natural human impulse. And yet being forever content with a spouse, or a street, requires finding ways to be happy with different versions of that person or neighborhood.<\/p>\n

Because I like to fix broken things quickly and shoddily (my husband, Neal, calls my renovation aesthetic \u201cLittle Rascals Clubhouse\u201d), I frequently receive the advice: \u201cDon\u2019t just do something, stand there.\u201d<\/p>\n

Such underreacting may also be the best stance when confronted by too much or too little change. Whether or not we want people to stay the same, time will bring change in abundance.<\/p>\n

A year and a half ago, Neal and I bought a place in the country. We hadn\u2019t been in the market for a house, but our city apartment is only 500 square feet, and we kept admiring this lovely blue house we drove by every time we visited my parents. It turned out to be shockingly affordable.<\/p>\n

So now we own a house. We bought furniture, framed pictures and put up a badminton net. We marveled at the change that had come over us. Who were these backyard-grilling, property-tax-paying, shuttlecock-batting people we had become?<\/p>\n

When we met in our 20s, Neal wasn\u2019t a man who would delight in lawn care, and I wasn\u2019t a woman who would find such a man appealing. And yet here we were, avidly refilling our bird feeder and remarking on all the cardinals.<\/p>\n

Neal, who hadn\u2019t hammered a nail in all the years I\u2019d known him, now had opinions on bookshelves and curtains, and loved going to the hardware store. He whistled while he mowed. He was like an alien. But in this new situation, I was an alien, too \u2014 one who knew when to plant bulbs and how to use a Crock-Pot, and who, newly armed with CPR and first aid certification, volunteered at a local camp. Our alien selves were remarkably compatible.<\/p>\n

THE GOOD NEWS – YOU HAVE TO CHANGE<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Several long-married people I know have said this exact line: \u201cI\u2019ve had at least three marriages. They\u2019ve just all been with the same person.\u201d I\u2019d say Neal and I have had at least three marriages: Our partying 20s, child-centric 30s and home-owning 40s.<\/p>\n

Then there\u2019s my abbreviated first marriage. Nick and I met in college and dated for a few months before dropping out and driving cross-country. Over the next few years, we worked a series of low-wage jobs. On the rare occasions when we discussed our future, he said he wasn\u2019t ready to settle down because one day, he claimed, he would probably need to \u201csow\u201d his \u201cwild oats\u201d \u2014 a saying I found tacky and a concept I found ridiculous.<\/p>\n

When I told Neal about this years later, he said, \u201cMaybe you found it ridiculous because you\u2019d already done it.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s true that from ages 16 to 19 I had a lot of boyfriends. But with Nick, I became happily domestic. We adopted cats. I had changed in such a way that I had no problem being with just one person. I was done changing and thought he should be, too. Certainly, I thought he should not change into a man who sows oats.<\/p>\n

When we got married at the courthouse so he could get his green card (he was Canadian), I didn\u2019t feel different the next day. We still fell asleep to \u201cPolitically Incorrect\u201d with our cats at our feet as we always had.<\/p>\n

We told anyone who asked that the marriage was no big deal, just a formality so the government wouldn\u2019t break us up. But when pressed, it was hard to say what differentiated us from the truly married beyond the absence of a party.<\/p>\n

When I grew depressed a few months later, I decided that he and our pseudo-marriage were part of the problem. After three years of feeling like the more committed person, I was done and asked him to move out. When he left, I felt sad but also thrilled by the prospect of dating again. A couple\u00a0of years later, I met Neal.<\/p>\n

Recently, I asked Nick if we could talk. We hadn\u2019t spoken in a decade. He lives in London now, so we Skyped. I saw that he looked almost exactly as he had at 22, though he\u2019d grown a long beard. We had a pleasant conversation. Finally, I asked him if he thought our marriage counted.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d he said. \u201cI think it counts<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n

We were married, just not very well. The marriage didn\u2019t mean much to us, and so when things got rough, we broke up. I had been too immature to know what I was getting into. I thought passion was the most important thing. When my romantic feelings left, I followed them out the door. It was just like any breakup, but with extra paperwork.<\/p>\n

Nick now works at a European arts venue. He\u2019s unmarried. I wouldn\u2019t have predicted his life or his facial hair. I don\u2019t regret our split, but if we had stayed married, I think I would have liked this version of him.<\/p>\n

My hair is long and blond now. When Neal and I met, it was dyed black and cut to my chin. When I took to bleaching it myself, it was often orange, because I didn\u2019t know what I was doing.<\/p>\n

Now I weigh about 160 pounds. When I left the hospital after being treated for a burst appendix, I weighed 140. When I was nine months pregnant and starving every second, I weighed 210. I have been everything from size 4 to 14. I have been the life of the party and a drag. I have been broke and loaded, clinically depressed and radiantly happy. Spread out over the years, I\u2019m a harem.<\/p>\n

CHANGE IS INEVITABLE<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

How can we accept that when it comes to our bodies (and everything else, for that matter), the only inevitability is change? And what is the key to caring less about change as a marriage evolves \u2014 things like how much sex we\u2019re having and whether or not it\u2019s the best sex possible?<\/p>\n

One day in the country, Neal and I heard a chipmunk in distress. It had gotten inside the house and was hiding under the couch. Every few minutes, the creature let out a high-pitched squeak. I tried to sweep it out the door to safety with a broom, but it kept running back at my feet.<\/p>\n

\u201cWow, you\u2019re dumb,\u201d I said to it.<\/p>\n

\u201cI got this,\u201d Neal said, mysteriously carrying a plastic cereal bowl. \u201cShoo it out from under there.\u201d<\/p>\n

I did, and the chipmunk raced through the living room. Neal, like an ancient discus thrower, tossed the bowl in a beautiful arc, landing it perfectly atop the scampering creature. He then slid a piece of cardboard under the bowl and carried the chipmunk out into the bushes, where he set it free.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was really impressive,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

To feel awed by a man I thought I knew completely: It\u2019s a shock when that happens after so many years. And a boon. That one fling of a bowl probably bought us another five years of marriage.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

To increase the longevity of your marriage attend an Imago Couples workshop<\/a><\/p>\n

This August 2017 we host Hedy and Yumi<\/a> Schleifer for an Adventure in Intimacy<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ada Calhoun<\/a>, who lives in New York, is the author of a forthcoming memoir, \u201cWedding Toasts I\u2019ll Never Give,\u201d from which this essay is adapted.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

THE BAD NEWS – YOU HAVE TO CHANGE A couple of years ago, it seemed as if everyone I knew was on the verge of divorce. \u201cHe\u2019s not the man\u00a0I married,\u201d one friend told me. \u201cShe didn\u2019t change, and I did,\u201d said another. And then there was the no-fault version: \u201cWe grew apart.\u201d Emotional and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":4293,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[38,34],"tags":[39,42,44,53,36,54],"class_list":["post-4705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-couples-therapy","category-imago-relationships","tag-couples-workshop","tag-hedy-and-yumi","tag-intimacy","tag-marriage","tag-therapy","tag-workshop"],"yoast_head":"\nModern Marriage: to stay married, embrace change - Imago Africa<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The only constant in marriage is change!\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Modern Marriage: to stay married, embrace change - Imago Africa\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The only constant in marriage is change!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Imago Africa\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-07-16T08:07:39+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Carol Dixon\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Carol Dixon\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"8 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/stay-married-embrace-change\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/stay-married-embrace-change\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Carol Dixon\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/9a8b42951c3ce9b4c3dadf5961d7ac9e\"},\"headline\":\"Modern Marriage: to stay married, embrace change\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-07-16T08:07:39+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/stay-married-embrace-change\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":1629,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/stay-married-embrace-change\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"\",\"keywords\":[\"Couples Workshop\",\"Hedy and Yumi\",\"Intimacy\",\"Marriage\",\"Therapy\",\"workshop\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Couples Therapy\",\"Imago Relationships\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-ZA\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/stay-married-embrace-change\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/stay-married-embrace-change\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/stay-married-embrace-change\\\/\",\"name\":\"Modern Marriage: to stay married, embrace change - Imago Africa\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/stay-married-embrace-change\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/stay-married-embrace-change\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-07-16T08:07:39+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/9a8b42951c3ce9b4c3dadf5961d7ac9e\"},\"description\":\"The only constant in marriage is change!\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/stay-married-embrace-change\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-ZA\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/stay-married-embrace-change\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-ZA\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/stay-married-embrace-change\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"\",\"contentUrl\":\"\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/stay-married-embrace-change\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Modern Marriage: to stay married, embrace change\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/\",\"name\":\"Imago Africa\",\"description\":\"Welcome to joyful aliveness!\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-ZA\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/9a8b42951c3ce9b4c3dadf5961d7ac9e\",\"name\":\"Carol Dixon\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-ZA\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/0a4a16af1daaaad79e4965f52dfa56c324bbd40e33d54a26cbf68e57ad180eaa?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/0a4a16af1daaaad79e4965f52dfa56c324bbd40e33d54a26cbf68e57ad180eaa?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/0a4a16af1daaaad79e4965f52dfa56c324bbd40e33d54a26cbf68e57ad180eaa?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Carol Dixon\"},\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/imagoafrica.co.za\\\/for-professionals\\\/author\\\/caroldixon\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Modern Marriage: to stay married, embrace change - Imago Africa","description":"The only constant in marriage is change!","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Modern Marriage: to stay married, embrace change - Imago Africa","og_description":"The only constant in marriage is change!","og_url":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/","og_site_name":"Imago Africa","article_published_time":"2017-07-16T08:07:39+00:00","author":"Carol Dixon","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Carol Dixon","Est. reading time":"8 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/"},"author":{"name":"Carol Dixon","@id":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/#\/schema\/person\/9a8b42951c3ce9b4c3dadf5961d7ac9e"},"headline":"Modern Marriage: to stay married, embrace change","datePublished":"2017-07-16T08:07:39+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/"},"wordCount":1629,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"","keywords":["Couples Workshop","Hedy and Yumi","Intimacy","Marriage","Therapy","workshop"],"articleSection":["Couples Therapy","Imago Relationships"],"inLanguage":"en-ZA","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/","url":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/","name":"Modern Marriage: to stay married, embrace change - Imago Africa","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"","datePublished":"2017-07-16T08:07:39+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/#\/schema\/person\/9a8b42951c3ce9b4c3dadf5961d7ac9e"},"description":"The only constant in marriage is change!","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-ZA","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-ZA","@id":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/#primaryimage","url":"","contentUrl":""},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/stay-married-embrace-change\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Modern Marriage: to stay married, embrace change"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/#website","url":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/","name":"Imago Africa","description":"Welcome to joyful aliveness!","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-ZA"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/#\/schema\/person\/9a8b42951c3ce9b4c3dadf5961d7ac9e","name":"Carol Dixon","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-ZA","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0a4a16af1daaaad79e4965f52dfa56c324bbd40e33d54a26cbf68e57ad180eaa?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0a4a16af1daaaad79e4965f52dfa56c324bbd40e33d54a26cbf68e57ad180eaa?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0a4a16af1daaaad79e4965f52dfa56c324bbd40e33d54a26cbf68e57ad180eaa?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Carol Dixon"},"url":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/author\/caroldixon\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4705","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4705"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4705\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4705"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4705"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imagoafrica.co.za\/for-professionals\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4705"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}